A while back, a client reached out to me at the very early stages of our working relationship and said, “According to Google, you are a scientist and researcher” (she found my papers published in journals like Science and Nature), and she was excited and in awe, and she was very curious: “How did you pivot into this work?”
And when I shared my journey with her, she said I should share it with my listeners because people seem to be afraid to step into the unknown. People seem to be afraid to step into what is calling them from their soul, and they tend to stick with what is acceptable in society.
In this episode, I want to first take you on a personal journey—one that began in places I never expected and led me to work I never imagined I’d be doing. Life has a way of rerouting us… sometimes through loss, heartbreak, or moments we thought we’d never recover from.
If you’ve ever wondered why healing after emotional abuse can feel like such an uphill climb even with therapy, you’re not alone. Because here’s the truth: therapy alone isn’t enough to fully reclaim yourself after emotional abuse.
It can help you survive—but survival is not the finish line. In the second part of the episode, I’ll reveal the missing link that turns recovery into something far greater.
It’s the difference between patching up the pieces and thriving—not because of what broke you, but despite it.
This is where the real transformation begins.
I Begin with Gratitude
Today I want to start by saying thank you to all my listeners who have sent me messages saying that they enjoy listening to these episodes and they feel encouraged.
Let me read some of the messages here.
“Thank you for this episode. It is very well described, plus the examples. You have a very agreeable voice. I haven’t been listening to any episode lately but I couldnt stop listening to you. Encouraging.”
GenDee from Substack
“I listened to your first 2 episodes, and I am moved by your vulnerability. You are willing to share vulnerable parts of yourself, which makes you accessible and underscores your commitment to healing others. Your podcast is definitely a contribution to the HSP material.”
Greg – Pyschotherapist
“It so happens that at this moment I am going through a healing process from a trauma that was caused by my family. I have realized that sometimes we carry loads of burdens we’re unaware of, and they end up dragging us into pits we never dug ourselves. Your podcast episodes have helped immensely on this journey, and I am looking forward to learning more.”
Transform into Wisdom Podcast Listener
The messages go on and on. I want to THANK YOU, my dear listener, and if you have the courage to leave a comment or a review on Apple Podcasts, please do so. Your generosity helps by telling the algorithm to reach others.
Why This Podcast Exists.
A while back, a client reached out to me at the very early stages of our working relationship and said, “According to Google, you are a scientist and researcher” (she found my papers published in journals like Science and Nature), and she was excited and in awe, and she was very curious: “How did you pivot into this work?”
And when I shared my journey with her, she said I should share it with my listeners because people seem to be afraid to step into the unknown. People seem to be afraid to step into what is calling them from their soul, and they tend to stick with what is acceptable in society.
My Personal Journey in Becoming a Post Traumatic Growth Teacher, & Embodiment Coach
How Did This Happen?
This work found me by accident. And as you know, there are no accidents. This work found me, I didn’t go looking for it. If you haven’t listened to episodes 1-4, please go back and do that because I started this podcast by sharing my spiritual awakening experience in episode 1, and I carried the theme until episode 4.
I am an old soul; the people that I gravitate towards and have loved the most are older people. I feel welcome in their presence. I feel at home with them.
They have lived enough life, collected enough data, and are more Zen and more grounded. Especially as a kid, most people I met said there was something different about me, and they described me as an old soul because I was too mature for my age.
The Feeling of Not Belonging on the Planet
I knew internally that I was an old soul, but this place called earth always felt alien to me. I didn’t feel like I belonged on this planet. It was a foreign place to me. I had different perspectives from everyone else, and I rebelled against things that were outdated (but they only seemed dysfunctional to me).
I grew up with this rich inner life; I was spiritual, intuitive, and gifted. And I was wise enough to know that those were not things to be shared with people who wouldn’t understand the depths of my being, aka my family. So, I had this rich inner life and experiences that were unknown to anyone.
I was fascinated by science and learning; I wanted to understand the nature of physical reality and the nature of the universe. I majored in mathematics (my first love) and physics in my undergraduate studies and went on to do a Ph.D. in physics.
Like many people, I was in the corporate world. I was using my knowledge and skills as a scientist and engineer to solve problems and advance technology.
And because of some of my highly valued traits, like being a solution-oriented person, self-discipline, competency, and being deliberate and resourceful, I grew quickly in my career and became an engineering manager—something I enjoyed very much, working with my team to achieve objectives set out by the company as well as individual growth for members of my team.
Growing in Silence
Behind the scenes, in my personal life, I was building something. I was building myself, and a vision was coming together brick by brick.
Even though I could have continued on as a people manager for a long time because I really loved my team, I realized that there was always a bigger picture for me in my life. And it was time for me to step into that purpose. It was very clear, like night and day, that you need to take the next exit right to continue on your journey.
As someone who experienced pathological exposure (a clinical term for emotional abuse) both in childhood and in adulthood at a personal level, I once felt like life had handed me an unfair sentence—an inescapable fate imposed before I even knew I had a choice.
To Understand The Paradox of “Smart Women—Foolish Choices”
The same way I got my Ph.D. and with the same determination, I was determined to find out how a smart, educated person like me could end up in a relationship like that and how my family got as dysfunctional as it was.
Because on the outside, it checked all the boxes: two parents married for a long time, wealthy, with beautiful, educated children. But on the inside it’s all smoke and mirrors built using fear and control.
The same way I used to borrow papers and books from the library in my Ph.D. academic studies, I started borrowing books and papers to research psychology, family dynamics, narcissism, emotional immaturity, consciousness, and neuroscience. I love reading, and on nights and weekends I had a full reading schedule.
Imagine my surprise [and gasp] to then discover that research consistently shows a strong correlation between experiencing pathological relational harm/narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse in adulthood and coming from dysfunctional family environments marked by abuse or neglect.
I was shocked. You mean I was set up from the very beginning? You mean I had no chance? You mean I was right about what I saw? You mean all the things I complained about were true? I never felt more validated holding on tightly to a printout of a psychology paper from the library.
But some of life’s greatest gifts come disguised as our worst nightmares.
Through deep healing and personal development, I reclaimed my voice, sovereignty, and personal leadership.
I can tell you from experience that it’s not about the hand you were dealt—it’s about what you choose to do with it.
Human beings are capable of extraordinary transformation—if they allow it.
By embracing the discomfort of not always knowing, sitting with the discomfort, curiosity, adaptability, and self-inquiry, I let go of outdated family and societal programming. Brick by brick, I built a life that aligned with my truth, stepping out of survival mode and into emotional and self-mastery.
I became the driver, the creator—not at the mercy of life, but in command of it.
As the false conditioning fell away, I came home to myself—living in alignment with values I chose, not inherited.
Because I found that healing isn’t just about getting back to who you were before the abuse—post-traumatic growth is about becoming someone even stronger, wiser, and more whole than you ever imagined you could be.
And with that clarity, it became impossible to stay in my old corporate job.
I realized the gifts I had been given were never meant to be kept. They were meant to be shared.
And so, I now use my knowledge, skills, and lived experience to help you reclaim your personal leadership, transmute emotional abuse/trauma—beyond therapy, and step into your highest potential.
My Soul’s Mission on Earth
The reason why I do this work is not because I cognitively wanted to. This was never the plan I had for myself. I knew I came to this world with a big agenda, but I never knew what it was.
But as you see, the agenda revealed itself through living life. As an old soul, an indigo child, a survivor, and a thriver in life, there is a strong calling inside of me that has something to say. It’s not something I can shut down. I am compelled in my bones to speak and help people in this way.
I wouldn’t be able to live without saying what the soul is asking me to say. The reason why I am alive today is to tell you the stories, to tell you the real truth about what it really takes to heal from abuse that starts in the family.
Some people will never understand what it is like to have a song that you must sing or to have a voice to speak. Because the gifts I was given are not mine to keep. I was given to share.
The secrets of healing are for anyone who is seeking a clear, honest voice like mine that is not afraid to speak the truth, even if it’s ugly and painful. Because looking in the mirror and seeing something you don’t like about yourself, and others is painful.
Notice my unusual path to the healing field. Imagine if that had stopped me from helping people? Simply because my path is unusual…
People will not understand your journey, your pain, your passion, or your choices. Own them. Stop waiting for permission from anyone. Stop waiting for approval from anyone.
No one will understand your journey, your pain, your passion, your visions, your dreams, or your choices. So, stop waiting for permission from anyone to do anything. Stop wasting time waiting for people to get you. No one will because they are busy living their own life and seeing life through the eyes of self.
Everyone sees life through their own lens.
I am always going to be calling you towards the truth, no matter how uncomfortable.
This Work Matters But Why Now?
A) The Right Time for Change is Now
Because the right time is now. We are standing at a turning point on this planet. You feel it, don’t you? The fear, the anxiety, the polarization. The turmoil, the hatred, the cruelty—and yet, at the same time, the love, the compassion, the connections, the communities being born out of the cracks.
If this is what we can see on the world’s stage and in our social media feeds, imagine what’s happening quietly behind closed doors—in people’s homes, in their hearts.
I’ve always been drawn toward the light, toward what uplifts, toward what builds instead of destroys. And right now, we are in the middle of a profound shift—a battle for consciousness itself.
If you are hearing my voice right now, you are already part of that shift. You’re not here by accident. You’re seeking healing that nourishes your soul and is rooted in truth. Healing that allows you to transmute the trauma, reclaim your wholeness, and step into a life that is fully aligned with who you are.
B) A New Consciousness Has Arrived on The Planet.
A new consciousness has arrived on this planet. And in this new landscape, voices like mine—and yours—matter. We are here to anchor this new awareness, to hold the line, and to remind each other of what’s possible when we live from truth. You are not just witnessing the change in consciousness. You are the change.
C) The Loneliness On the Healing Journey
As an old soul and a healer, I’ve learned that one of the greatest obstacles on the healing journey isn’t always the pain itself— it’s the loneliness that comes with it.
~Transform into Wisdom Podcast
That gnawing ache of feeling unseen, unheard… forgotten.
It’s the question that circles in your mind late at night:
Why me?
Why did this experience choose me?
How did this happen to me?
Why did this happen to me?
How did my life end up here?
I know those questions because I’ve asked them myself. I know the silence that follows them.
I know what it feels like to walk through the wilderness alone and feel abandoned and forgotten by the Universe or source or God.
I know what it is like to have no one to talk to about some of the loneliest experiences of life.
That’s why I speak. That’s why I show up here, voice to ear—so you don’t have to carry it all in the dark.
Because even if I can’t be in the same room with you, I am with you in intention.
When I sit at the mic, I pray. I ask, Universe, please use me as Your vessel. Let me speak what is true, what is aligned, what might be the one thing that helps someone listening breathe a little easier today.
Because here’s the truth: You are never truly alone.
Even in the moments when you feel it the most—it is a feeling, not a fact.
And feelings are not forever.
The same way the night gives way to morning, the heaviness can give way to hope.
And you…you have more power than you realize to make that shift.
D) The Limitations of the Current Mental Health System in Narcisstic Abuse Recovery
I also do this work because I found that the current medical and mental health system does not teach what I teach — and yet it’s exactly what so many need to hear in order to truly heal.
Therapy is incredibly valuable for someone recovering from an abusive relationship or from prolonged emotional abuse, but it has limitations if it’s used alone without deeper integration and embodiment work that follows.
1. Intellectual Awareness Doesn’t Guarantee Change
- Traditional talk therapy often helps people understand what happened and why — but awareness alone doesn’t break patterns.
- You can know you were in a toxic relationship and still be trapped by subconscious conditioning, self-doubt, and emotional triggers.
- If thinking alone could heal trauma, the smartest people would be the freest. But healing is not just a mental puzzle — it’s an embodied transformation.
2. Trauma Is Stored in the Body, Not Just the Mind
- Abuse creates nervous system dysregulation — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses that become wired into your physiology.
- Therapy often focuses on cognitive processing, but true healing also requires somatic work — releasing the trauma from the body.
- Few therapists specialize in both somatic healing and narcissistic abuse recovery. In fact, trauma therapy itself is a niche, and within that, the number of practitioners who truly understand the dynamics of emotional abuse is even smaller.
- A therapist can only take you as far as they have gone themselves. They may have the theories and models, but actual deep healing requires lived experience and embodied integration.
- Talking about trauma without working with it physiologically can keep you stuck in a loop of understanding but never transforming.
3. Rewiring Deep Beliefs Requires More Than Talk
- Emotional abuse shapes your identity, planting beliefs like “I’m not worthy of love” or “I can’t trust myself.”
- Therapy can challenge these beliefs on a rational level, but deep transformation requires experiential work: inner child healing, shadow work, subconscious reprogramming.
4. Emotional Attachment to the Abuser Isn’t Always Resolved
- Many survivors feel psychologically “hooked” even after leaving — due to trauma bonding, unresolved grief, or the internalized voice of the abuser.
- Traditional therapy doesn’t always offer the energetic and emotional release needed to sever these ties completely.
5. Therapy Alone Doesn’t Teach Embodied Self-Trust & Reconnection
- Survivors often lose touch with their intuition after years of gaslighting or emotional manipulation.
- Rebuilding self-trust must be done not just in the mind, but in the body — through self-inquiry, mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and aligned action.
The Missing Piece in Healing: Post-Traumatic Growth
Here’s the truth that most survivors don’t hear in therapy rooms:
Healing isn’t just about “getting back to who you were before.” It’s about discovering a version of yourself you’ve never met before — the after you, forged in resilience, clarity, and strength.
Transform into Wisdom Podcast
This is post-traumatic growth — a well-documented phenomenon in psychology that describes the profound positive changes that can emerge after trauma when healing is approached deeply and holistically.
Research by Dr. Richard Tedeschi and Dr. Lawrence Calhoun shows that PTG often appears in five main areas:
- A deeper appreciation for life — Gratitude becomes embodied, not just an idea.
- Stronger, more authentic relationships — You learn to choose connection that nourishes instead of drains.
- New possibilities — Doors you never imagined open, and you have the courage to walk through them.
- Greater personal strength — You realize, “If I survived that, I could survive anything.”
- Spiritual or existential growth — Your worldview deepens, often with a stronger connection to meaning, purpose, or the sacred.
But PTG isn’t automatic. It doesn’t happen just because time passes. It happens because you do the work — integrating mind, body, and spirit. It happens when you don’t stop at “coping” but move toward rebuilding. And this is where most traditional models stop short.
What’s Needed Beyond Therapy
A holistic approach that combines:
- Somatic healing – Breathwork, movement, nervous system regulation, energy work.
- Subconscious work – Hypnosis, inner child healing, reprogramming limiting beliefs.
- Self-inquiry & self-trust practices – Journaling, visualization, embodiment exercises.
- Boundary-setting & empowerment coaching – Learning to live your new truth in real-world interactions.
- Community & support – Healing is amplified in safe, validating spaces.
Therapy is a powerful starting point, but by itself it often leaves you managing symptoms rather than reclaiming your life.
Deep healing is about more than “functioning” again — it’s about stepping into your post-trauma becoming.
~Transform into Wisdom Podcast
This is why I do this work: not just to help you understand what happened, but to guide you through the alchemy of turning pain into power, wounds into wisdom, and survival into a life that feels like yours again — maybe for the first time.
Because healing isn’t just about recovery. It’s about rising.
So let me reintroduce myself as a Post Traumatic Growth Teacher, Embodiment Healer & Coach! I teach emotional mastery & empowerment to survivors of trauma. And this is part of my soul contract on the planet. Part of my dharma on the planet.
Just like life changed for me, life after abuse changes for you. It only changes when you change, when you do the work. And change is uncomfortable. And yet the only constant in life is change. Embrace change. Dip your toes in it a little until you feel like you can go all in and make changes in your life. Get rid of friends who drag you down, relationships that don’t seem to grow.
The Path Back Home to Yourself
Change happens only when you make it happen. The path back home to yourself happens when you decide when it will happen not how.
When do you want to come back home to yourself?
Because when you decide on “when”, the how becomes obvious.
And if you do the deep internal work, you will realize how superficial our world is. Don’t even get me started on that.
There is another world that exists that you haven’t even stepped into it yet. And when you do, it will become impossible for you to stay in your corporate job because you will have outgrown being in survival.
This is what I love — and I’m going to pursue it until it reaches its natural ending.
If there’s a voice inside me that says I should speak, then I have to trust that there’s someone out there who needs to hear it.
Life will redirect you. Life will throw detours in your path.
But at every turn, you have choices.
And sometimes, the bravest thing you’ll ever do is step into the unknown — not once, but again and again, for the rest of your life.
~Transform into Wisdom Podcast
Because if you don’t, the story of who you could have been will never be written.
What Stepping into the Unknown Looks Like
- The unknown might be walking away from people who drain your light.
- It might be saying yes to something that scares you and excites you at the same time.
- It might be packing up and starting over in a place where no one knows your name.
- It might be leaving the “safe” thing that’s quietly killing your spirit.
- It might be telling the truth you’ve been swallowing for years.
- It might be giving yourself permission to want more — and then going after it with everything you’ve got.
Whatever your unknown looks like… are you ready to step into it?
The unknown is here to show you who you really are.
Find something that sparks a fire within you and pursue it with all your heart.
Run toward it without looking back.
The rest will meet you on the road.
Deep gratitude to my client who nudged me to share my unusual path to the healing field. Maybe it will light a spark in you too.
The unknown is where your real life has been waiting this whole time.
You are ready to step into aren’t you?
I heard a big YES
Now that’s the spirit.
See you in the next episode.